When I started this blog, I called it Cleo’s Autism Awareness, because I wanted people to become more aware of autism, and how autistic people contribute a positive force to our community, the same way I once wished people understood my “mean” cat, Cleo, was really an amazing cat-woman.

This is an excellent example of how I use compare-contrast to understand the world, as well as explain my experiences to others. “Like this, like that” thinking led to my current life as a storyteller and teacher.

As I was drafting posts for Cleo’s Autism Awareness, I realized the extent of my depression and C-PTSD. I knew I was struggling with mental illness, yet I had no idea how much internalized ableism led to my current state.

How was I taught I was bad?

How did this go unnoticed?

Every layer I peeled back, the sting wafted into my eyes all over again.

I decided awareness was not enough; I wanted society to accept autism. Autistic people shouldn’t have to behave a certain way to make neurotypical people feel comfortable in their privilege. I envision a safer world, where autistic people can unmask and live as their true selves, rather than people pleasers and conditioned automatons. And I imagine schools and families who create spaces for children to develop self-love and embrace they’re autistic.

As I realized these feelings, I also saw Cleo’s Autism Awareness wasn’t in-sync with where my heart was headed.

So I razed the earth and renamed this space LightItUp.Red.

Introduction actually autistic autism acceptance