masking
what is masking?
1.
it’s when you spend the first grade observing the kids with friends, because you didn’t make friends in kindergarten, and you’d like to learn how to fix this
it’s when you smile through the earthquake of depression and anxiety that’s accumulating at home
it’s when you try to emulate neurotypical eye contact despite the burning in your spine
it’s when you perform as the perfect employee for two days, two months, or two years, and then burn out like a comet plummeting head-first into the dinosaurs
it’s why you turn into a gelatinous blob in your bedroom
it’s how you avoid bullies
it’s how you avoid parental guilt
it isn’t you
2.
it’s the clay you peel off of your soul
it’s the bandwagon fallacy resolving itself in slow motion
it’s the micro-aggressions you need to pumice away, after you’ve shed the skin of your first belief system
it’s the voice inside you that no longer serves you
it’s the societal bullshit you shouldn’t have to clean up
it’s a trial worth facing
it’s a habit you need to let go
it’s your heroic journey’s belly of the whale
Kourtnie View All →
Kourtnie has an MFA in Creative Writing from CSU Fresno and a BA in English from CSU Fullerton. Visit Kourtnie.net to read her dev blog or fey.earth to try out her games and stories.